Dreams Come True at Bumbershoot!

August 31st, 2010

Bumber-bums, Seattlites, I stand before you proclaiming that this year’s Bumbershoot comedy line-up will be not only good but great, and I have been afforded the opportunity to join my favoritest talk show ever, the Famous Mysterious Actor show, alongside the hilarious Billy Wayne Davis! I will be there at the Comedy Theatre West, The Vera Project Stage, for a wonderful show that starts at 1:15 with candy and screaming.  Please join me!

A Stranger quote from the ravishing and hilarious Lindy West:

Famous Mysterious Actor Show
The Famous Mysterious Actor, host of the hilariously surreal late night talk show parody known as The Famous Mysterious Actor Show, performs in what appears to be a Mexican wrestling mask, soiled army parka, and black fright wig. He was not born to fame, but is more than willing to thrust it down your throat.

The Newest Craze!

August 31st, 2010

Stand and Be Judged!

I was recently in Asia, and in my own tiny opinion, there is no segment of the world population that is more adorable and more self-hating than Japanese girls.  Everyone knows about double eyelid glue and tape, but  I became very attached to a product that looked like a potato peeler that was supposed to be rolled on either side of one’s nose to create a more Western nose.  This is, of course, impossible.  The nose is not made of silly putty and can’t be molded from the outside.  Most importantly, they all want to weigh under 100 pounds, regardless of their height or build.

I bought a magazine in Narita airport so that I could pretend I had been to Japan, and found this article with  a hundred pictures of girls with the reasons all of their bodies suck.  One girl is thin, but her chest is *too* thin!  One girl accidentally formed a bicep muscle!  One girl’s body flaw is that her tits are too big.  HER TITS.  ARE TOO.  BIG.  Additionally, bitchy little insets from failed pop stars talk smack about these cartoon girls that don’t exist.
This is why anorexia is still Japan’s most popular hobby!    A popular surgery involves cutting a ligament so that one’s calf muscles atrophy and shrink away, leaving a stick-thin leg.  Pretty!  This makes me feel slightly better about the state that we’re in.  At least I’m allowed to work out and have muscles, instead of just starving myself puny.  I’m also glad to be back in the states because I don’t usually have this conversation at home:

Cassie: I saw your photo on Facebook!

Me: Oh, really?

Cassie: Yes, you looked very thin (indicating on face and neck where I used to be thin).  Were you thinner when you were younger?

Me: No, actually I came out this size.  I looked down and saw my mother’s bloody feet.  I exploded her.  Please pass the fried rice.

The Things I Do For Hewlett

August 26th, 2010

My dear friend Elaine Hewlett is coming to town, and called to let me know that she would be here for two days, and that she would love it if I could get myself booked somewhere.  This is the best I can do: Portland’s longest-running comedy showcase at the Bagdad Theatre on Hawthorne, where drinking beer and eating pizza makes the comics funnier!  C’mon out!

Portland Monthly!

August 26th, 2010

Fall Arts Preview

The New Nimble

By Anne Adams, John Chandler, and Randy Gragg

COMEDY

THE NEXT LAUGH

Virginia Jones

COMEDIENNE

“You know what really gets my goat?” asks Virginia Jones. “Wolves.”

Pause … hope … laughter.

In the suspenseful lifestyle of casting one-liners for yuks (and bucks), Jones is one of a growing cabal of local weekend warriors tackling stand-up comedy—and, sometimes, slowly, starting to shape their work schedules around the gigs rather than vice versa.

“The great thing about stand-up,” she asserts, “is that you can work and hone until you get it just right … It’s completely unlike brain surgery.” Pause … hope …

On September 4, Jones will perform in the Grand Dames of Comedy showcase at Hawthorne Theatre and host two open-mic nights for Curious Comedy Theater, Portland’s first and only nonprofit comedy group.

“There’s a lot of new energy,” Jones says, noting the three-year-old Bridgetown Comedy Festival’s importing of such nationally acclaimed acts as Patton Oswalt and Janeane Garofalo and the opening of city’s first comedy chain franchise, Helium, which lifted off this summer.

Why the sudden P-town laugh riot? Is it our coping mechanism for rising unemployment? Indie-rock fatigue? Jones calls it a perfect storm of rising national interest (e.g., the reality show Last Comic Standing), plus the growing chops of locals like Richard Bain, Christian Ricketts, and Marcia Belsky.

“There’s all this hungry talent,” she says. “They book anywhere they can—old-man bars, Thai restaurants—just to some get mic time.”

“When I started doing showcases, going to comedy was only slightly less hip than going to a funeral,” Jones adds, without pause but with plenty of hope. “I think now it’s starting to explode.” —AA

SHOWS TO KNOW

CURIOUS COMEDY THEATER’S COMEDY ROULETTE
Oct 8-23, Nov 6-20 A small cast of improvisational cutups including Stacey Hallal, Bob Ladewig, Virginia Jones, and Josh Fisher will redirect their comedy sketches and prepared material based on whatever the audience wants to see. Can we handle that much responsibility? Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK Jr. Blvd. 503-477-9477. curiouscomedy.org

GREAT DAMES OF COMEDY
Sept 4 at 8 A slew of she-larious locals storm the stage in (presumably) diamonds, feathers, and big hats for a little X-chromosome humor. Picture the rowdy gals and quiet introverts from your high school all grown up and cracking wise. Belinda Carroll hosts. $5. Hawthorne Theatre Lounge, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 503-233-7100. hawthornetheater.com

GREG PROOPS
Sept 9-11 The dapper Proops is a versatile comic best known as one of the performers on the American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, a show that required him to slip in and out of multiple characters, Zelig-like, for laughs. Targets include Christian psychos, gun-toting rednecks, and, the root of it all, our nation’s City-on-a-Hill Puritan heritage. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE Ninth Ave. portland.heliumcomedy.com —JC

Many thanks to the all-powerful and largely benevolent Anne Adams for including me.

See it on their website here: Portland Monthly Article

It’s New Year’s Eve, For God’s Sake!

August 16th, 2010

It’s New Year’s Eve for God’s Sake from Video Production on Vimeo.

Brendan Gill invited myself and spouse to be in a short film about the irony of time travel and telecommunications. If you miss me, watch it and pretend we’re hanging out.

I’m Deluxe!

August 11th, 2010

The excellent Ameen Belbahri let me up on his Club Deluxe show in SF, hosted by the delightful Emily Heller.

The Woods Get New Rotic!

August 4th, 2010

Once in a blue moon, DJ’s Retrograde and Retrovirus inexplicably set up the decks in battle formation and play songs from something called vinyl records, for the listening and dancing enjoyment of others. New Rotic have been DJ’ing together since 2001, and have been married to each other since 2002. They have brought classic and obscure new wave, post-punk, and britpop to the people at legendary clubs The Blackbird, Panorama, Dante’s, dunes, and Shut Up And Dance. They’ll bring you a wry, nostalgic smile for a time you don’t remember. This Friday at 8, the new-wave dance party begins at Portland’s most wonderful music venue, The Woods! We’re playing everyone’s high-school reunion, without the annoyance that comes from talking to the people from your actual high school. Drink Specials for people dressed for their reunion! The Woods! Friday! New Rotic!

Friday Comedy at PSU!

August 3rd, 2010
Flyer for Friday's show!

Thanks to Dylan for just using whatever Facebook shot he likes.

Jay-Z’s On To The Next One: Probably A Good Signifier of the End of the Universe

July 23rd, 2010

Imagined preproduction interview with Jay-Z-

Director: What would you like in your video?
Jay-Z: Milk, flaming basketballs, corpsepaint, a dancer with diamonds on her face, paint being poured over Damien Hirst skulls, and teeth. Why, what were you thinking? Like, what if Matthew Barney made a music video? I’d love to have a Nike Dunk with the swoosh removed, filled with milk.
Director: Can we have birds, ink, and a vampire boxer?
Jay-Z: Sure, knock yourself out.

A skull-faced guy in a tuxedo has an emotional breakdown in the video, portrayed by a musician called Drums of Death who tours with Peaches. He’s Scottish. Of course. Scotland, of course, has had a rich and varied rap connection.

Director: Maybe we can shoehorn a yacht and a horse in there with the animal skulls and hand signals?
Jay-Z: Ok, but I’m not backing down on the hammer dipped in housepaint.
Director: DONE and DONE.

I Have Thoughts

June 29th, 2010

There’s a show opening this weekend that has been a big topic of conversation amongst the local comics for a couple of weeks.  Like musical tribute shows, we’re doing a cover show of our favorite dead or retired comedians all July, as a paean to the form and as tribute to some of our heroes.  I think it’ll be really interesting.

Pros:

1.  We’ll have the opportunity to share some older work that we care about with a new audience, which is always cool.

2. Like singing your favorite band at karaoke, there’s a certain satisfaction in posing as someone you respect, stepping into their skin for a minute.  When I re-made some of Leigh Bowery’s costumes and wore them around, I really felt like I was understanding things about Leigh’s tendency towards invention over craft, his willingness to be uncomfortable, and his desire to be a spectacle.  I am hoping to come away from this show with a similar perspective.

3. I am hoping to learn something from behind the act, by trying to impersonate the timing and cadence of my favorite comedian.  Will I get laughs in the same places?  Also: will I get laughs at all?

4.  My comic is a perfect fit for me, we’re both black-clad Texans with a misogynist streak a mile wide.

5. Apprentice painters from the renaissance period forward have cut their teeth by copying the masters.  This is much the same.

Cons:

1. Comedy, above all other arts, doesn’t have a rep for aging well.  Will older material translate?

2. Will our comics be able to communicate what’s funny about this stuff?  Everyone knows comedy is not  just in the material, but also in the performance.  Well, not everyone.  Most people.  There was an incident recently where a comic from Davenport, Iowa reproduced Patton Oswalt’s act uncredited, but did not get Patton’s laughs, because he’s not Patton and doesn’t bring his timing, voice, face, etc. to the show.

3.  In a medium that values creativity over all other things, is this a worthwhile exercise?

What do you think?

These and other questions will be answered at 8 PM this Friday at the Curious Comedy Theatre at 5225 NE MLK!