Reading Between The Lines: Translating Missed Connections on Craigslist

August 20th, 2014

Girl with PURPLE HAIR at Grumpy Cat event – m4w (West Side/Santa Monica)

I saw you in line at Kitson for the Grumpy Cat book signing. I commented that I loved your hair. I couldn’t talk then, but I’d love to connect! E-Mail me if you find this and would like to talk! You are stunning. :) Doubt this will work, but you never know!

OK, let’s read this for comprehension:

“AT A GRUMPY CAT EVENT”: we are both idiot children raised by the Internet who worship an animal so crippled by neurological dysfunction that it cannot walk and will be dead in a year, but whose owners will try to retire on the money he earns

“You had purple hair”: you saw something in a magazine and decided to adopt a Festival lifestyle but your favorite band is Arcade Fire and you’ve never heard of any other bands.

“I couldn’t talk then”- I was with my girlfriend, but I don’t think she reads these, I didn’t mention anything about my own appearance, and I don’t think she heard me tell you I liked your hair

FUCK THEM IN THE FACE

Nam-Haha-Ste

August 20th, 2014

a FREE YOGA CLASS with FREE COMEDY on SATURDAY!

Tomorrow in Burbank!

August 19th, 2014

I am part of the Burbank Comedy Festival, tomorrow night at 9:30 in the Yoo Hoo Room, in A COMEDY SHOW!

(The poster doesn’t let me link it.  I can only let you know that it’s A COMEDY SHOW!)

It’s part of a comedy festival that the performers can’t go to shows that they’re not in, but tomorrow night I’m in A COMEDY SHOW!  with Jackie Kashian, Laura House, and Molly Fite, and on Friday I’m on another A COMEDY SHOW!

GLENDALIA 6!

August 19th, 2014

Chatterbox!

August 5th, 2014

GLENDALIA in LA WEEKLY!

August 1st, 2014

 

It’s not exactly Portlandia, but when it comes to the latest in chortlesome comedy on the fringes, Glendalia is your place to be. Co-presenters Virginia Jones and Dax Jordan have been working hard since April to evolve this monthly stand-up salon with a raucous roster of punchateers. This week’s comics and their relevant tweets: MADtv‘s Matt Braunger (“If I ever decide to commit suicide, it’ll be by doing the worm downstairs.”), Conan‘s Tony Camin (“Writing a biography of the HPV virus. Warts and all”), Marcella Arguello (“If there’s one thing I hate, it’s everything.”), Ron Babcock of Why Would You Eat That? gross-out webcast fame and whimsical woman Scout Durwood. That it’s being held in a goth club is also rather amusing: further proof that darkness needs light to exist. Complex, 806 E. Colorado St., Glendale; Tue., Aug. 5, 8 p.m.; free; 21 and older. (323) 642-7519, complexla.com.

— David Cotner

 

SUNDAY

July 25th, 2014

Andy Wood Vs. Virginia Jones: On How To Write A Morrissey Song

July 20th, 2014

My very smart and talented friend Andy Wood made this keen observation on the songs of Morrissey and the Smiths- but that’s not the end of the story.

There’s also starting with the chorus, singing exclusively about stuff you hate, and lots of grace notes!  So there!

GLENDALIA 5!

July 15th, 2014

  So proud to bring you the 5th GLENDALIA, at the new and improved time of 8PM!  That’s right, you don’t have to stay out with the heroin junkies and club kids and fun people!    This month’s lineup is astounding:

Matt Braunger – Has a new album out: Shovel Fighter!, Mad TV

Tony Camin- Conan, Just for Laughs, The Marijuanalogues

Ron Babcock- Why Would You Eat That, Last Comic Standing, House Party with Adam Levine

Marcella Arguello- SF Sketchfest, opened for Al Madrigal and Hannibal Burress

Ricky Carmona- Tosh.0, Just for Laughs

Scout Durwood- Edinburgh, The Moth, Howard Stern

Baby Ketten Los Angeles!

July 7th, 2014

 

 

Dear Los Angelans:

I’m very excited to share with you some important mews.  The legendary Baby Ketten Karaoke, with the baddest book in the universe, (where “bad” means “good” and “universe” means “Continental United States”) is opening a local satellite that will run first and third Sundays at the Ace Hotel in LA, starting Sunday, Aug 3rd!  RSVP here!

It’s slated to be rooftop karaoke, with plenty of space for dancing and singing and hot tubbing and shenanigans, run by the Ketten’s close friend Meggie Nicole!  If we have ever stood next to each other for any amount of time you have heard me run my mouth about Portland’s Baby Ketten, which is the best karaoke ever.  The book is not just expansive but obsessive, with many many many original Ketten-only tracks, and constantly updated with today’s weirdest hits!  Here’s the New York Times article on the Ketten phenom: here!

Have you ever wanted to sing Siouxsie Sioux’s apocalyptic lullaby, Metal Postcard? Probably not, but I did, and I sang it at Baby Ketten!  Bauhaus’ Kick in the Eye? Think you can keep an audience through Pulp’s bump and grind classic, This is Hardcore? Find out! Do you think singing Laid by James will get a singalong going? Can you handle Tori Amos’ Crucify? Do you think you can step to The Strangler’s Peaches?

Here is a partial listing of my favorite Baby Ketten Karaoke tracks to give you a taste.    Go to their website here or install the app to look for your favorite songs!  YES OF COURSE THEY HAVE AN APP!

 

Mark Ronson- Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This one Before

Suicidal Tendencies- Institutionalized

Nine Inch Nails- Something I Can Never Have

Hoodoo Gurus- Like Wow, Wipeout

Tori Amos- Smells Like Teen Spirit

The Smiths- The Queen Is Dead

The Horrors- Still Life

She & Him- Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

The Cure- Why Can’t I Be You?

The Cure- The Walk

LCD Soundsystem- Daft Punk Is Playing At My House

Radiohead- Lucky

The Normal- Warm Leatherette

The Dead Milkmen- Instant Club Hit

Rufus Wainwright- Vibrate

Nina Simone- I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl

Desire- Under Your Spell

Belle And Sebastian- Lord Antony

Siouxsie and the Banshees-Metal Postcard

Echo and the Bunnymen-Killing Moon

XTC-Senses Working Overtime

Japan-Quiet Life

Replacements-Alex Chilton

Nick Cave-Red Right Hand

Proclaimers-Sunshine on Leith

Beats International-Dub Be Good To Me

Belle and Sebastian-Funny Little Frog

Pixies- No. 13 Baby

Beautiful South-Rotterdam

Pulp- This is Hardcore

Psychic TV- Godstar

Warpaint- Undertow

AND SO MUCH MOAR!

I love the Ketten so much I have talked about them in my blog before, here and here!

POSTSCRIPT: This show ROCKED and everyone who was a part of it was GREAT!  Local karaoke celebs Kevin Cable and Howard Hallis came out!  BABY KETTEN will be back Aug 17!