Archive for the ‘women’ Category

Baby Ketten Los Angeles!

Monday, July 7th, 2014

 

 

Dear Los Angelans:

I’m very excited to share with you some important mews.  The legendary Baby Ketten Karaoke, with the baddest book in the universe, (where “bad” means “good” and “universe” means “Continental United States”) is opening a local satellite that will run first and third Sundays at the Ace Hotel in LA, starting Sunday, Aug 3rd!  RSVP here!

It’s slated to be rooftop karaoke, with plenty of space for dancing and singing and hot tubbing and shenanigans, run by the Ketten’s close friend Meggie Nicole!  If we have ever stood next to each other for any amount of time you have heard me run my mouth about Portland’s Baby Ketten, which is the best karaoke ever.  The book is not just expansive but obsessive, with many many many original Ketten-only tracks, and constantly updated with today’s weirdest hits!  Here’s the New York Times article on the Ketten phenom: here!

Have you ever wanted to sing Siouxsie Sioux’s apocalyptic lullaby, Metal Postcard? Probably not, but I did, and I sang it at Baby Ketten!  Bauhaus’ Kick in the Eye? Think you can keep an audience through Pulp’s bump and grind classic, This is Hardcore? Find out! Do you think singing Laid by James will get a singalong going? Can you handle Tori Amos’ Crucify? Do you think you can step to The Strangler’s Peaches?

Here is a partial listing of my favorite Baby Ketten Karaoke tracks to give you a taste.    Go to their website here or install the app to look for your favorite songs!  YES OF COURSE THEY HAVE AN APP!

 

Mark Ronson- Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This one Before

Suicidal Tendencies- Institutionalized

Nine Inch Nails- Something I Can Never Have

Hoodoo Gurus- Like Wow, Wipeout

Tori Amos- Smells Like Teen Spirit

The Smiths- The Queen Is Dead

The Horrors- Still Life

She & Him- Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

The Cure- Why Can’t I Be You?

The Cure- The Walk

LCD Soundsystem- Daft Punk Is Playing At My House

Radiohead- Lucky

The Normal- Warm Leatherette

The Dead Milkmen- Instant Club Hit

Rufus Wainwright- Vibrate

Nina Simone- I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl

Desire- Under Your Spell

Belle And Sebastian- Lord Antony

Siouxsie and the Banshees-Metal Postcard

Echo and the Bunnymen-Killing Moon

XTC-Senses Working Overtime

Japan-Quiet Life

Replacements-Alex Chilton

Nick Cave-Red Right Hand

Proclaimers-Sunshine on Leith

Beats International-Dub Be Good To Me

Belle and Sebastian-Funny Little Frog

Pixies- No. 13 Baby

Beautiful South-Rotterdam

Pulp- This is Hardcore

Psychic TV- Godstar

Warpaint- Undertow

AND SO MUCH MOAR!

I love the Ketten so much I have talked about them in my blog before, here and here!

 

 

Glendalia 3!

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

We’re building a great show in Glendale, we had a great audience last month but only three comics in the lottery, so 66% of comics got stage time on a bill with Ian Karmel and Jackie Kashian!  The hilarious and wonderful Richard Bain will be co-hosting!

10:30 on Tuesday, June 3 at Complex- 806 E Colorado, Glendale, CA.

This month we are excited to welcome:

Bryan Cook- Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction (Founder), Funny or Die (writer)

Susanna Lee- Last Comic Standing, SF Comedy Competition

Doug Mellard- Last Comic Standing, Moontower Festival

Jesse Case-  Parenthood, Just for Laughs Festival

Matt Kirshen – Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Fallon, LA Weekly’s Top Comics To Watch

Ali Wong – Tonight Show, @midnight, Inside Amy Schumer

 

Glendalia 2!

Sunday, May 4th, 2014

Photo by Jonathan Saunders

I’m very excited about our second Glendalia comedy, coming to the Complex on May 6!

Our amazing line-up is:

Brandie Posey (Lady 2 Lady)
Steve Hernandez (Respect the Danger of Knives)
Claire Titleman (Recently on Chelsea Lately)
Tyler Boeh (Boston comedy comp finalist)
Ian Karmel (Chelsea Lately cast, Conan)
Jackie Kashian (Conan, Dork Forest)

 

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Lady 2 Lady!

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

My episode of Lady 2 Lady is up for your enjoyment, with lovely hostesses Brandie Posey, Barbara Gray and Tess Barker, where we answer the tough questions about cats v. dogs and people who believe that a thin layer of tissue is of any help on a public toilet or no.  It was an honor to be on Lady to Lady and on Maximum Fun.org, with such amazing talents as John Hodgman and the ever talented Dave Hill.

Welcome to GLENDALIA!

Monday, March 31st, 2014

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Photo Credit: Jonathan Saunders of I Like To Tell Stories

I’m excited to announce that one of my oldest Portland comedy pals, Dax Jordan, and I are bringing a new comedy night to the LA area!  It’s at the super cool Complex at 806 Colorado in Glendale.  We’ll be hosting our amazingly hilarious friends and offering 2 lottery spots for attending comics!  COMPLEX features a full bar and ample seating and  lots of fun for EVERYONE.

First Show’s Roster: Ron Funches (Kroll Show, Conan, Undateable)

Auggie Smith (Living Legend, won SF and Seattle comps the same year)

Robert Buscemi (just a real ray of sunshine and a real pretty peacock)

Heather Thomson (Class, Sass, and Ass)

Richard Bain (An incredibly funny person)

Brock Wilbur (Crime Travel, Guitar Center’s spokesmodel)

Booking requests go to Glendaliabooking@gmail.com!

Ladies of Comedy!

Friday, March 28th, 2014

I’m so excited to be on this show in a vintage store in Burbank with some AMAZING women, including Laura Kightlinger, Beth Stelling, Emily Heller, April Richardson, and the lovely and talented Brandie Posey!

So, You Think You Can Dance Downtown?

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

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OK, I’m a big fan of the show So You Think You Can Dance.   I felt lucky to attend some shows last season, and when I got an email for two shows this week, I jumped on it.  I was nervous when I saw that the address was for the Orpheum and not the CBS lot, but when I got there it was clear that it was: Auditions.  I didn’t want to go to fucking auditions.  I want costumes and choreography and ensemble pieces.

In recent seasons, I haven’t even watched auditions.  One in twenty people will be good, one in forty will be amazing, one in ten will be completely delusional.   It’s the reality TV shock-jock portion, where people fall and cry and lie and the desperation seeps through and they edit to support the judge’s decisions.  However, I had already parked downtown all day for six dollars, so I stayed.

 It was kind of cool to be in the Orpheum and to see the familiar carpeting and to see a pile of dance bags and the warm up room.  We were seated and introduced to the newest judge, Christina Applegate, who has been a dancer her whole life and who crossed the stage in gold heels so high she needed a handler to come down the steps to the judge’s dais.

  Nigel Lythgoe went through a list of don’ts for the dancers.  He listed out things the judges were tired of seeing.

1. Don’t extend an arm and reach out pleadingly to the judges, wild-eyed.

2. Don’t jeté , tumble, then leap into the air to jeté again.  OVER IT.

3. Don’t look at the floor. (This is also a good tip for comedy!)

4.   Don’t wink.

5. Don’t put your finger on your mouth.

6. Don’t blow a kiss.

7. Don’t lip-sync.

8. Don’t hold your leg up.  This is So You Think You Can Dance, not Do You Think You Can Hold Your Leg Up For An Assload Of Time.

I stayed for the day and saw all 114 dancers although it felt like a billion.  I now have my own list.   It’s kind of inside baseball, but what in life isn’t?

List of Most Of The Dancer Types from So You Think You Can Dance Auditions:

1. Mama’s pretty pretty princess, the best ballerina in Pig’s Snout, Arkansas.  This represents 20% of the attendees.  Wearing a sports bra and leggings.   Has long, pretty girl hair.  She will do one million pirouettes and lift her leg up by her head and will get yelled at because all the other pretty princesses have done the same thing.

2. Mama’s pretty pretty princess got a mohawk and earrings and is all edgy and shit.  She will do a ton of pirouettes and lift her leg up in the air.

3.  Mama’s pretty pretty princess (male).  Appears to have a sixteen-pack of abs.  I don’t even know if this possible.

4.  Breakdancer type one:  Learned on the streets.  Looks to have been homeless as recently as this morning.  Amazing dancer.   Doesn’t appear to hear or understand instructions but can pop and lock like a sonofabitch.

5. Breakdancer type two: Learned at boarding school.  May dress like Parappa the Rapper.  May have a rat-tail.  (Rat tail odds doubled if Asian)

6. Ballroom dancers who have spray-tanned their legs to match their shoes, which is awesome.

7. Girl with a big bottom and men’s shoes?  Lindy hopper.

8. Tap dancers, who never get through even though some of them are awesome.  The sound and size of this show are never great for tap.

9. Hot-Ass Male Russian Ballroom Dancer.  (Thank god.)  (Please take your shirt off.)

10. Asian Twerk Twink.  Wears harem pants.

11. Midwestern Sincere Contemporary Dancer (male)- Wears what looks like pajamas and his one black Lucky Spinning Sock, which is black.  He’s the best modern dancer in Pig’s Snout, Arkansas, but he’s not as good as Contemporary Eric.   Why not wear a light colored sock?  You look like a rube, Trent!

12. Elderly street dancer- He’s here to do all of Michael Jackson’s moves!  You can see him tomorrow in front of the Hollywood Boulevard wax museum.

13.  The Only Gay In The Village: A chubby small-town club dancer with a lotta heart and board shorts and a couple of awesome moves.  He is trying not to lip-sync.  My god, he tries.  But that’s not a reasonable ask for a gay club dancer.  He would have to put duct tape over his mouth, or put a Lucky Spinning Sock in it.

Good luck to these and all the dancers that auditioned, I look forward in seeing you on the show in a paint-covered t-shirt or a Victorian zombie outfit!

Start with Goodbye

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

I have been friends with a very talented and creepily lifelike doll named Eliza Rickman for several years, and today she released a really lovely and cool video composed of forced perspective vignettes depicting things she would likely be doing anyway.  Please enjoy it.

It’s a Very Vegan Christmas!

Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

 

My talented best friend Pete (designer of my website, music impresario, DJ and artist- previously mentioned here, here, and here, and here and here!)  has made this adorable t-shirt, suitable for you or your vegan/vegetabletarian friends and family!

  It’s available in yellow, green, or blue, and is hand-printed in Pete’s home studio in soft, eco-friendly waterbased inks.  I like this tee especially because it doesn’t have the “and you’re a dick” subtext of a lot of veggie tees, it’s just a fun burger that loves you and wants to be eaten, because everyone knows that tofu is a very masochistic food.  Click HERE to order!

This first run is limited to 75 pieces!  You’ll be wearing the only tofu burger tee in the whole vegan grocery/yoga class/tall bike ride/waterpark/DJ night/transgender dance party/coffee bean tasting/hula hoop class/laundromat dance party/bear bowling event!

A New Day Hypnosis

Monday, December 2nd, 2013

newcomersguide

This is an interview with my sister, Austin, TX hypnotherapist Laura Ryan!  She has been a practicing hypnotherapist since 2001 and has helped thousands of people lose weight, quit smoking, or work on other issues.  Everyone I’ve ever mentioned this to have been very curious about her business, so I thought I’d post an interview here!  She has some great reviews and feedback here on yp.com!
Q: What is your favorite thing about helping people with hypnotherapy?
A: I have helped a lot of people who have tried several different avenues before meeting with me and it feels good to see people make progress and grow in ways that surprise them. I love seeing the excitement in clients who initially thought that their situation was hopeless or that they were past help, but discover through dedication and commitment, that they are able to make significant improvements in their behavior.
Q: What is something surprising you have learned about human nature in your work?
A: I have learned that most people are doing their best and that I should never judge a new person when I first meet them; many of the people that I would consider to be most difficult initially become my favorite people to work with.
Q:  What is your opinion of stage hypnotists, i.e. the comedians who make people eat onions onstage?
A: I understand that everything has a place in the world and that there is a purpose for stage hypnosis. The problem that I have is that it casts a shadow over the whole profession and makes hypnosis seem like some kind of trick or joke. I take my work very seriously and it is annoying to have to explain to people over and over again that what happens in a stage show is not what happens in my office. Hypnosis is not about tricks and mind-control, it’s about helping people guide themselves to solutions and change ingrained behaviors.
Q: I know a lot of your work is with people struggling with weight loss, what advice can you give to lose or maintain weight during the holiday season?

A: I recommend that someone who struggles with these sorts of things begins to unpack their triggers and beliefs about food and determine what emotional problems that they are trying to solve with food. Also, understanding that food has the same caloric value regardless of the calendar date or location of the food. (IE: a piece of pie at your Aunt Mabel’s house on Christmas eve will process the same way as it would in your living room on March 9th).

Q: What do people seek in hypnosis that they won’t be able to get?

A: Because of stage hypnosis and myths about hypnosis that run rampant in popular culture, a lot of people think that hypnosis is magic and works instantaneously with little effort from the individual. I explain that hypnosis is a tool and will only work with the commitment and dedication of the person seeking help. Also, hypnosis is not a state where another person is controlling your mind, no one can give you suggestions that you don’t accept or agree with.

Q:  What led you to start working with hypnosis?
A: My parents were into hypnosis when I was in high school and I had a pretty remarkable experience with it when I was 17. When I graduated from college, I saw that a hypnosis center was hiring, so I decided to apply. During my work there, the owner suggested that I do the hypnosis training, so I pursued it and then followed that with an NLP certification.
Q: What inspired you to get your therapy degree after working as a hypnotist?
A: I realized that the problems that were being presented to me at the hypnosis center were beyond the depth of my certifications. I really wanted to help people to the best of my ability and I realized that I needed further education to get there, so I went back to school for a Masters Degree in Counseling.
 Q: Why do most of your clients come to see you?
A: Over the years, I have come to realize that every presenting issue that I help people with ultimately comes down to anxiety.  People try to escape anxiety with food, cigarettes, alcohol, and other compulsive behaviors.  People become paralyzed by anxiety and try to control it with obsessive behaviors and unhealthy relationship patterns; a big part of hypnosis is really about learning to manage your day-to-day challenges without crutches or dysfunctional coping strategies.