Author: badinia

Virginia Jones is a comedian, writer, and actor- probably in that order.

I Love You Famous Mysterious Actor!

HILARIOUS POSTSCRIPT TIME:

I love the Famous Mysterious Actor show, and I genuinely had a great time appearing on the show, but my set went a little short.

Before the show, the suave and talented producer, J.D., took me aside and told me that I would have five minutes, and that he would light me when my time was up. When a comic has an alotted time, an emcee or producer will raise a flashlight or wave a phone to indicate that it’s time to wrap things up.

I was onstage, and I did a little shucking-and-jiving with Famous before I started telling jokes, and I was in medias res when I saw an amber light. It seemed soon, but it was more important to me that the show run smoothly than for me to do every single joke that I had planned on. I start going into my final joke, as I have been programmed to do. A few lines in, I get the light again. I nod at it, to indicate that I understand it’s time for me to get offstage, and I finish my joke to some applause, and I sit on the couch to do panel.

I get the light again.

Peering into the darkness, I see that a woman is using a camera that, instead of flashing a white light, points an amber light at the performers onstage. This means that 1.) I have gone short on my time for no reason and that 2.) At some point onstage, I nodded knowingly at a woman who was taking my photograph, whom I now dislike.

Yaaayy! Later, J.D. slipped on Ethiopian food and fell off the stage. Serves him right.

Toulouse-Lautrec Lady


In my all-consuming desire to make increasingly weirder and less accessible Halloween costumes, this year I went as a can-can dancer from Toulouse-Lautrec’s “At The Moulin-Rouge”, despite my extreme distaste for the film.

Lindy West on The Famous Mysterious Actor

The very funny Lindy West wrote blurbs for all the comedy events at Bumbershoot, I particularly liked her take on FMA.

FAMOUS MYSTERIOUS ACTOR
The Famous Mysterious Actor is a frightening specter. It has long hair, like a woman, or a hippie. It has a high-pitched voice, like a woman. Or a wild bird of some kind that speaks human language. It has a thing about Pixi Stix, like most women, and it wears a mask like Eric Stoltz in Mask or Jim Carrey in Look Who’s Masking Now. Or a Mexican. It is very mysterious. It comes from Portland. LW

WHAT ABOUT PROM

Iona, Andi’s boss at Trax, and Duckie share a tiny prize

The Joneses had the best time evar geeking out on memorial John Hughes trivia with the lovely and talented Shan-Rock last Saturday, being quizzed about Ferris Bueller, Weird Science (a film about two young men who accidentally make a woman when all they are really looking for is web porn), Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink. After a lifetime of wanting to be Andi from Pretty in Pink, it is clear to me now that I am her boss, Iona. Watching the film for the eleventy hundredth time, it is no longer clear to me why all the boys love Andi. She spends the whole movie either pouting or bitching. She laughs exactly once. But Iona? Applause, applause, applause! We won a tiny trophy and free drinks, which is the kind of prize we can use.

Chub-up-date!

Dear People;

I know it seems like Chariots of Rubber is all I write about these days, but that is largely because it is all I think about, or do. We are starting up again at the Interstate Firehouse on August 20th, running the 21st, 22nd, and at 6PM on the 23rd- and I will be playing Cindy, the Erotic Pleaser every night after Thursday. The show has new choregraphy, new films, a new theatre, and a new ending! It’s more Chubber than ever before!

During last night’s dress rehearsal, I was told my dress was not whorish enough, which has never happened to me before. Come out and see us! Ticket info and showdates here!

Love, Pleather, and Chariots of Rubber.

The Revenge Of The Return of Chariots of Rubber!

Chariots of Rubber tickets are now available for the second run-

Bigger! Better! Bloodier!
I am singing the role of Cindy, the Erotic Pleaser, a street-weary and shopworn prostitute, with a legendary past and a strange secret, but miles to go before she sleeps- so basically playing myself, for all shows except Thursday, August 20th!