Author: badinia

Virginia Jones is a comedian, writer, and actor- probably in that order.

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus

Recently Tivo recorded a film for me based on my interest in art stuff and Robert Downey, Jr., and so I watched a movie I’d never heard of called “Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. The main message that I took away from this film, loosely based on a book based on a rumor based on the photographer’s life, is

Q: How can one discover one’s own artistic voice and vision?

A. To truly discover oneself as an artist, but one must first befriend, fully shave, make love to, bear witness to the suicide of, and then wear a coat made from the hair of, a dog-faced boy.

Q. Do you mean that metaphorically? Like, broaden your horizons?

A. No. I mean it literally. Go find yourself a dog-faced boy.

Q. Okay…thanks.

It was weird, and coming from me that’s saying a lot.

Ain’t No Party Like A Birthday Party!

Although I work hard at keeping this page from being of any real use to anyone, I wanted to let you know that Nick Cave tickets are on sale today for a show at the Crystal Ballroom for Monday, September 22nd.  Aww! Nick’s spending his birthday with us! Reasons to love Nick Cave:

* He’s so goth, he wore flip-flops on Ron & Fez’s radio show, and was STILL goth.

* He has had amazing rock-n-roll hair for 30 years. Unfortunately, now all his promo shots are cropped at the temples.

* Dig, Lazarus, Dig is a record that makes other middle-aged rockers cower in shame.

* Nick wrote the story and soundtrack for the incredible and bloody cowboy movie, The Proposition.

* He did the soundtrack for another great movie, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and did a cameo as- wait for it- a musician.

* He’s also doing the soundtrack to the film of Cormac McCarthy’s book, The Road.

* Nick wants to be a cowboy, and you can be his cowgirl.

An alert reader sent in an NPR article on Nick! Thank you!

Charlie Clark Portrait!

A web comic artist Charlie Clark put out an offer recently to draw ANYONE, and I said, well, I’m anyone- here is his portrait of me, only the second girl he’s drawn. I think I could probably put it in my passport. I like my nosering especially.

Dream Ticket!

This is a deeply stupid joke that I never had the proper means to express, but now there’s a service that lets you set up any show you wanted to go to, or wished could happen!

A show for the little ones by The Sizzler:

A Monochrome Set:

Blessings and Curses

Blessings:

1. I saw a kid waiting for a bus this morning in a VOTE FOR PEDRO t-shirt that reminded me how glad I am that people stopped quoting Napoleon Dynamite all the time. Worst thing named after an Elvis Costello pseudonymn, EVER.

2. Vintage stores seem to have finally run out of NOS white belts and pointy-toed white boots.

3. Firedancing seems to have been replaced by the less flammable hula hooping: it used to be you couldn’t go to a nightclub or a grocery store grand opening without some lady with kerosene-soaked rags was gonna dance. What I like about hula hooping is that I don’t have to pretend there’s any skill involved.

4. People at work don’t say “BLING”anymore.

Curses:

1. I’ve seen three people on the MAX this week with old-fashioned moustaches tattooed on their pointer fingers to play Snidely Whiplash with. OK, the first time you saw someone with that, it was already over. The fat guy from Knocked Up has it. The first person with that tattoo was awesome. Everyone else is shitty.

2. MAC WORSHIP. There is no such thing as a hipster computer! Not unless it runs on cocaine! Your computer does not make you more creative or awesome! Your stuff does not define you! JAYSIS! GROW UP!

3.Burning Man Mini-Stilts. Again, the first Pan costume I saw was great. I love Guillermo Del Toro movies. But now it’s everywhere, and is therefore not awesome.

4. People at work can’t stop saying “STREET”.

It’s Easy Being Green

In a fitting St. Patrick’s day occurrence, I rolled onto my first new green “bike box” at SE 7th and Hawthorne today.

It’s a cheery, acid astroturf color, and it’s designed to remind cars not to flatten me on my bike. I also reached 8,000 miles on my odometer today, almost two years to the day of my 2,000th mile!

Tomorrow, the day after St. Patrick’s day, is always an exciting day for a bike commuter, and if the weather’s clear, I can report on the number of visible vomits on my regular route.

History Of A Joke

There is a hipster/record store employee joke that I have heard for several years now. I think it’s pretty funny- Michael Ian Black uses it thusly:

Q. What do you get if you play a Duran Duran album backwards?

A. A different, slightly better-sounding Duran Duran album.

I have also heard this joke applied to Interpol and Depeche Mode. Bill Hicks told it about New Kids On The Block. I knew it was old, but I didn’t realize how old until I ran across the following quote attributed to Thomas Alva Edison in a funny Blender article about the music industry’s biggest blunders:

“I always play jazz records backwards,” he sniffed. “They sound better that way.”

That joke isn’t just ancient, it’s EIGHTY! Happy Birthday, Joke!