Author: badiniaadmin

Simon LeBon’s Astonishing DNA Test

My daughter, Saffron, gave me a genetics kit for my birthday this year, and I know it’s a bit cheesy but in the tradition of middle aged dads everywhere, I’ve been working up the old family tree. 

 I’m pleased to have found a great many writers and poets in my bloodline!

The First LeBon

  The first LeBon arrived in London in the big Huguenot emigration of the 1590’s, and published the Elizabethan period poem below:

Thou has se’en me– stood’st at the corner of thy street

And O!  A fire makes for flashes on thy stone sill

To be solitary pleases you not

So thou wouldst seek out pleasure

And sooth- thou would knows’t wherefore and whyfore 

Nay, pray not for me today

Prithee, pray for me on the morrow–  Francois LeBon

American LeBon

Next, I found an American whose family settled in Louisiana.  We have a great-great grandfather in common.  He loved the SF beat poetry scene so much he moved out there in 1953. 

Antoine LeBon wrote the following,  published in a zine called Street Poems in 1957:

I finally bugged out yesterday

Couldn’t peep my hillside pad

Maybe I’ll head there in a year

Maybe I won’t

I can feel you diggin’ on me, cat, day and night

I’m hep to it, the art and incantations

I dig it, it’s a gas

There’s a dream, a fantasy maybe

Stringing down this road we call our home

There’s shards of glass everywhere

It cuts me, cuts me deep, and finally I say 

Hey man, hip me to it

What do I gotta know? 

Japanese LeBon

Perhaps strangest of all is a British girl whose family moved to Japan in the 30’s, and who wrote pretty little haiku like this one, this is Belleanne LeBon from her school poetry journal:

Cherry blossom lips

Smear in a line as she falls

Into blue water

Amazing stuff.  I showed it to Yasmin and said, look, babe, we’ve always been poets and she said, love, you’re not a poet, you’re just a clotheshorse who got lucky.

Well, I’ll add more if I find more!

‘Til then- Simon

My Lunatic Love: A Silverlake Coyote

coyote in silverlake

This is a coyote that hangs out behind a 24 hour diner in Silverlake.

He has a tracking collar on and he’s been tagged, because science wants to know where to find him. He’s easy to find because he’s usually behind the 24 hour diner. He hangs out at the back door early mornings with the attitude of a dog waiting for his breakfast. I think he gets a lot of snacks from them. A couple of days ago, I walked my little dog by and the coyote was there. It was awkward because it’s like seeing the guy you flirt with at a party you’re at with your boyfriend, and also the guy you flirt with could potentially eat your boyfriend.

I think whenever his coyote ticket is punched and he goes to coyote heaven, he will show off to all the other dead coyotes about how many friends he had feeding him, and that makes me glad. Watching him take off from the lot, tail held high, with something delicious in his chops is an awesome sight.

The Man Who Sold The World: On Autoharp And Guitar

The Man Who Sold The World On Autoharp:

If you give a goth an autoharp, she’ll ask for a Jazzmaster.

If you give a goth a Jazzmaster, she’ll try to play some Bowie.

I found an autoharp on Glendale boulevard in LA and tuned it and replaced the springs and felts, and then I accompanied myself on this Bowie cover, The Man Who Sold The World. I have probably gone insane. Thank you.

The Comedy Network Live Interview: Cheat Sheet On Virginia Jones

This is a reposting of a great interview on Comedy Network Live!

Virginia Jones Comedian Interview Comedy Network Live

VIRGINIA JONES: COMEDIAN, ACTRESS & WRITER

Bio:

Virginia Jones is an LA-based comedian, actor, and writer. She can be seen on Portlandia, CNN’s History of Comedy, and if you stay up late enough, on an Australian tap dance infomercial. She is a unique comic voice, by turns ingenious and absurd. Her comedy is keenly feminist and subtly radical. During lockdown, she created a Instagram TV series called Covid Delivery Scumbag, which has over 2000 views cross-platform. She’s glad to be one of Jackie and Laurie’s Comics of the Week. She documents her various adventures and plots on www.badinia.com

My Joke of the Day:

Most common Quarantine Activity: 

I have been playing a metric ass-ton of guitar.  Does that mean I am good at guitar?  No.  But I’m better than I was before we had to stay in the house all the time.  I’ve been writing dumb letters to send to friends, making masks for people.  A million little craft projects.  

Favorite Quarantine show/movie:

I really loved Midnight Gospel and Space Force.  I’ve been watching lots of weird British comedy on Britbox, Inside No. 9 is great capsule comedy horror from two of the guys from League of Gentlemen.

Favorite Instagram accounts:

I really love @diet_prada and their fashion snark, my friend Todd Masterson’s hilarious @gayfatfriend, and @jonwurster for rock trivia and #mynewworstfriend posts

Favorite quarantine meal & drink: 

I’m enjoying refreshing homemade vodka sodas, and when Magpies softserve opened for pickup in Silverlake I called my manager to make sure he knew.

Most Questionable thing you’ve seen or heard recently.. 

A friend of mine called me driving home from a covid hookup, and said “I can’t wait until this goddamned pandemic is over!” and I’m all “bitch you’re not helping!”  

First thing you’ll do once isolation is over…

Pet all the dogs, do all the shows, go to all the parties, and make out with strangers in the street!

Thanks for the interview, Comedy Network Live!

Fall Fashion Preview: It’s Plaid Again, Morons!

Photo by Godisable Jacob from Pexels

A Letter From The Editor of Vogue Magazine

Welcome to our big Fall Fashion issue! It’s HUGE and HEAVY and GLOSSY and you could really knock someone around with it. 

We’ve got food, diet, and skin trends, but let’s face it, you’re all here for the same thing- the FALL FASHION PREVIEW! It is LEGEND. It is the Christmas Mass of fashion magazines- everyone shows up once a year!

The Wind-Up

After this editor’s letter we’ve got the table of contents, a list of the celebrity photographers who aren’t cancelled yet, a Gucci ad, another Gucci ad, and BOOM here it is, it’s been gossiped about and worried over for six months: what’s the hot trend for fall? 

The Pitch

It’s plaid again, ya dumbshits! It will always be plaid! It’s back to school, so every woman alive is dressing like she’s showing up to Saint Lucy Of The Bleeding Eyes. 

It’s because men keep this fantasy of women with knee socks and short plaid skirts long after their own kids graduate college.

I mean, if you want to know- that’s not really why. 

It’s because in 1945, the UK wool industry, drunk on military production, had overruns they could not handle. They convinced Vogue Magazine to promote wool plaid for Fall 1946. Business being what it is, we HAVE to do wool plaid as a fashion trend EVERY FALL or the ENTIRE INDUSTRY WILL COLLAPSE. We have all signed a binding document, witnessed by Harry S. Truman and Winston Churchill, tying us to this unending, infernal cycle.

That’s a secret, which you’re not supposed to know. But after all these years, I know that NO-ONE has ever read this far down the letter from the editor.

The Home Run

Fall is also when everyone’s Goth, because New York starts getting dark and that’s where the fashion editors live- so there’s gonna be a shiny dominatrix boot and a smoky eye as well. Leather skirts. Spikes on handbags, the least scary place to put spikes. Spank me, Daddy! I work in marketing!

Next is the makeup section, where some poor fuck photo stylist has sliced up a tube of Gucci lip lacquer with a length of dental floss and stacked it up in an uneven, wabi-sabi tower of tiny red grease slabs and drizzled the whole thing over with a clear gel, because there is nothing interesting about makeup.

The Victory Lap

But don’t forget about plaid! We’re doing plaid! Did you know it has different names? It’s Stewart Tartan, Black Watch, or Burberry. You’ll get it in skirts and on bags and blouses and jackets. It’s on ties, headbands and shit, let’s do panties too! Now get out there and get mad for plaid!

Life is long, children. Life is long.

Signed, Anna Wintour