I always wanted to do a set on Bobcat Goldthwait’s Crabapples comedy show at the Improv comedy club. I was so glad his hilarious co-host, Caitlin Gill, asked me to.
It’s a cutting-edge show where all the coolest comics perform. I’ve seen Noel Fielding and Dave Hill and Bridget Everett there and it’s always a jam.
It was one of my favorite shows and now it’s gone forever, but now I have tape of Bobcat Goldthwait hugging me.
Lisa Best has a list of funny women on her website as a counter to the hack assertion that women aren’t funny.
This is a great idea. I’ve stolen it.
Below is my list of the most hilarious women and nonbinary comedians in the world. Check them out, starting with the very funny woman Lisa Best.
It’s Springtime, when the earth renews itself and mating season begins for many animals!
People go on dates and remember that sex and dating can be hard.
It can wear you out emotionally.
But at least you can physically survive it- not like in many parts of the animal kingdom.
Here’s a list of animals that die for sex- to remind you that things could be worse!
Oftentimes, the female praying mantis bites the head off her mate while they have sex, and apparently the male thrusts more vigorously after he’s dead, making the sex more likely to generate progeny. (This is probably not true of human men.)
Remember that the next time a woman you’ve exchanged a week of flirty text messages with flat doesn’t show up at an Italian restaurant and won’t call you back- you might leave with your head hanging down, but at least it’s still attached.
This very cute ratlike Australian marsupial, goes on a mad sex parade with multiple partners for up to 14 hours and then drops dead of exhaustion. There are advantages to this, for example- he doesn’t have the opportunity to get in trouble with any of the multiple cute ratlike partners he had sex with in the same half-day, but on the other hand the Antechinus never meets his children, nor coaches them in Soccer, which he would call Football, because he’s from Australia.
That’s better than the time you went on a drinks-filled double date with your best friend Allison and your boyfriend’s roommate, and she came home with him, but after you’d left for your house, she snuck into the other bedroom and did your boyfriend as well. Right? Still better than the cute little dead sex rat. And you don’t have to speak to Allison ever again.
He dies of natural causes after he mates with his lady- ejaculating makes his blood go bad. Nature wants him to die immediately after he has sex, which is one reason insects don’t masturbate.
This helps you understand that you’re still better off than a dead spider, even after you’ve been seeing someone you’re crazy about for a couple of months and came to find out he was also dating most of the women you know, and you were all in a weird sad sisterhood of women getting identical flirty text messages and photographs from him, which is why they were always non-sequiturs.
These Chameleons mate furiously and violently, then after the eggs are safely inseminated and laid, they both die. No-one is left to tell the tale of their passionate romance, no-one is left to mourn their death or wear black, or just turn black, because they are a Chameleon.
That means the time you stopped hearing from someone you’d been seeing for six months and thought you were in love with, and you couldn’t get him on the phone or online, and you assumed he’d gone to prison or rehab and cried anxious tears and couldn’t concentrate on work, and two weeks later you saw him on Facebook tagged in a picture at a bar from that day and you realize you’d just been garden-variety dumped, that’s better than dying postcoitally as a couple. Probably.
These spiders die while still joined with the female, so that while she is pregnant with his offspring, other dude spiders can’t have sex with her because she has another dude’s body sticking out of her. It’s desperate, but effective.
That puts into perspective the time you went on a work trip and brought your husband along and realized he was having an affair as he smiled into his phone and went to the bathroom to have whispery conversations as you tried to stop crying long enough to go to professional events and network. It was pretty bad. You might remember the hurt and humiliation of it sharply. But at least your dead body wasn’t hanging off his junk, being dragged through the snowy cobblestone streets of Boston!
– See more at: http://www.lovetv.co/til-death-do-us-part-noir-humor-of-sex-dating-and-the-animal-kingdom/#sthash.vbeJ5qlB.dpuf
By Robin Bacior
The life of a comedian can be glamorous, but often it’s far from that.
Lately, comedians have started to shed some mainstream light on the latter reality, such as Mike Birbiglia in his film Don’t Think Twice or Pete Holmes and his new HBO series, Crashing, both centering around how endlessly challenging it can be to tell jokes for a living.
“I had a conversation with a musician friend a couple years ago,” said comedian Virginia Jones. “He said, ‘You know, when you’re playing music at a bar, people are at least gonna clap in between songs. When you’re doing comedy at a bar, you not only need a response, but a positive response a couple times a minute.”
Jones, originally from Texas, started comedy in Portland in 2006.
“It’s a bucket-list thing,” Jones said. “For a year I wrote down anything that I’ve ever said that I thought was funny, and then tried to edit that down.”
She’s in L.A now, where she can sharpen her skills in one of the industry’s hubs, with a more competitive community.
“In La La Land: [Emma Stone’s character] puts everything into one show and nobody shows up and it breaks her heart,” Jones said. “If you do that 600 times, that’s what doing stand-up in L.A. feels like.”
Jones delivers jokes with slow, deadpan ease, often with a confessional tone. She has toured the West Coast several times, including performances at Portland’s Bridgetown and All Jane comedy festival
s, and the San Francisco Comedy Competition (in which she was a semi-finalist in 2013).
“Stand-up is where my heart is,” Jones says. “If I get national recognition, if I ever get to headline clubs, no matter what happens I know that I’ve really worked on my craft, and that’s a really good feeling.”
After she performs at the Chico Comedy Festival (doing sets at Duffy’s Tavern, LaRocca Tasting Room and the Naked Lounge on April 8, and at Sierra Nevada Big Room on April 9), Jones will return to L.A., where she’ll continue her pursuit. It’s not always easy, but at the very least, it’s comical.
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“Pete Holmes lives in my neighborhood,” Jones said. “On a Saturday night, I was doing a show—I have a nightclub act where I’m a goth girl who sings songs. Anyway, I’m going to the show and I’ve got a big pink wig on, and he one white Marilyn Manson contact in, and I’m driving down the street and I kind of notice this guy who’s wearing a hoodie that’s pulled all the way around his face. He’s got it all closed up like a little kid. I realize it’s Pete Holmes and he’s trying to go incognito, and I stare at him and he’s staring at me and I thought, ‘No, I’m not the weirdo; Pete, you are the weirdo. Nobody does that with their hoodie.’ That’s L.A. life.”
Have you ever wanted to see a real video of a gothgirl getting a really good neck crack in?
My Deadly Jokes:
Here’s a clip my comedy the from Open Space coffeshop/theatre, in which I discuss tattoos, animals, fascism, and Jenga!
My sister Em came to see me at Halloween and we went to Tenacious D’s Festival Supreme, dressed as Lion Dancers in the Kabuki tradition.
This is my favorite picture from the day. It is not a mirror.
This is my other favorite photo from the day, when I annoyed Jon Wurster into taking a photograph with me.