GLENDALIA 9- A VERY GLENDALIA CHRISTMAS!
Photo Credit: Evan Ballinger
Category: comedy
Bereet From Guardians of the Galaxy: A Meditation
This year for Halloween I went as Bereet, from Guardians of the Galaxy. I dressed as her because I really liked the movie, and also because I found her role in the film kind of interesting.
Guardians of the Galaxy is remarkable for having a full-on female action star hero in Gamora, a female baddie in Nebula, and a female political leader in Nova Prime. It is that rare thing, a sci fi movie that passes the Bechdel test. Gamora resists Peter Quill’s well-worn come-on outside a bar in Knowhere, much to his surprise, and this elevates her from conquest to potential partner.
This is not true of Bereet. Bereet is Peter Quill’s last casual hook-up before he meets Gamora. He picks her up on Xandar and he wakes up the and heads to Morag the next morning to steal an orb that the puts the story in motion. As he makes his escape from the planet, he flips his spaceship and wakes Bereet.
Now, there are lots of pink people on Xandar. People with jobs, people with families. None of them speak or act like Bereet, whose voice and delivery is that of a brain-damaged Russian. She doesn’t seem to understand technology, nor the manners of modern communication, because she is a sexual creature and a joke. Peter doesn’t remember her name or even that she’s onboard, hours after seducing her and letting her sexily wriggle into his childhood t-shirt, which he has carted around for twenty years and now loses forever.
An hour later in the film, Peter risks his own life to rescue Gamora as her body deteriorates in outer space. Meeting her, an independent woman who does not immediately fall to his seduction, makes him give up his playboy ways and become a fully functioning human being.
Bereet, despite being beautiful and pliable, doesn’t deserve any of this. I know she’s a foil to show how much Peter grows up. I’m not 100% a dick. I just thought the difference between Gamora and Bereet was interesting to observe. Sometimes my costumes are more about walking around as that character and person for awhile. Or just covering myself in pink airbrush makeup.
Here is my Facebook album, The Several Moods of Bereet.
Yes, I Like Pina Coladas
The Pina Colada song- I did this song interpretation at the request of my friend Drew Groove! I don’t really like this song, but it’s kind of a time capsule.
All Jane, Meet All Dick Envy
The funniest thing about the poster isn’t its existence.
The funniest thing isn’t the claim that all penises will be severed on site.
The funniest thing is that the guy who made it doesn’t know it’s funny, and doesn’t want his last name to get out in case his girlfriend gets mad.
Postscript: OK, this guy didn’t wind up protesting because he was “frightened for his safety.” It was a little bit funny for us, looking around at sweet, cute, smart lady comics, people who wear cardigans and glasses, and feeling like we were in the middle of a gender war, but he also might have stayed home because it rained most nights. Who knows? Anyway, we never saw him.
All Jane got lots of great press from this threatened protest, from revered feminist institutions like Bust and Bitch, as well as the LA Weekly, Willamette Week, Portland Mercury, etc. However, with the added visibility, we also started getting spammed by transgender individuals who were offended at the cissexist name, All Jane, No Dick (meaning: assuming there are only two genders.) Never mind that the festival, its organizers, and its participants are trans friendly and supportive, never mind that one of the performers on a short roster is genderfluid comic Rye Silverman. A volunteer had to spend a whole day deleting negative comments from the public spaces about All Jane, and lots of comics and organizers were shame-faced to have raised ire from the trans community for our name, even though we know it’s “edgy” and funny. That’s what comedy is.
But I wasn’t ashamed. I was mad. In my unpopular opinion, whether it’s straight men telling women what to do or transgendered persons telling us what to do, it’s still men telling women what to do, and I’m sick of it. The MOST gender-specific trait for men is telling women what to do, how to be good girls and not offend anyone. We can make whatever we want, we can call it whatever we want, and we’ll do whatever the fuck we want. If we offend people? Good. Don’t come. Life is not about never being offended. Riot Grrl Comedy! Rant over! We had fun! And Sizzle Pie and Montage fed us and it was great!
Postscript: This year, the festival is just called “All Jane.”
GLENDALIA 7!
Finally! We are reunited for GLENDALIA! Dax returns to bring his mighty presence back to the Complex on Tuesday, October 14th at Complex, 806 E Colorado St, Glendale, CA! Reunited, and it feels so good! We have fun! The event is here!
*Dax’s return has been greatly overstated. By Dax.