Category: comedy

Let’s Get Emo!

Dear Portland;

Sometimes, dreams come true.  I’m here to prove it.  I’ve been Seizing The Moment and Living My Best Life Ever and doing everything Oprah says, and finally something that has been on my Vision Board is coming to pass:  Emo Philips is coming to do a show in Portland, at the Helium comedy club, March 24-26.

He has not performed here since 1986.  He did a show in 2007 that I drove to Bend, OR to see, along with patriot Danny Norton, and you can read all about it here.  I feel strongly that Portland has been quietly sitting in folding chairs, hands gently waiting for his return so that we can crown him as our weirdo king.

If you liked his records in the eighties, please know that his joke writing has continued to refine and develop, and he is now known as one of the finest joke writers in the world.  He is a truly cerebral deeply funny act for the enjoyment of comics, comedy fans, weirdos, and Emo-philiacs- please join me for a great set of shows!

I’m in Just Out!

Laughterglow Returns to Weird Bar Thursday

Posted by Ryan Prado on Feb 15, 2011

There’s nothing funny about Laughterglow – Weird Bar’s monthly showcase of new comedy – taking a month off. But if Portland’s funny folk shave their way, they’ll spend all night Thursday making it up to you.

Southeast’s premier inclusive club Weird Bar – formerly Southeast’s premier lesbian bar the Egyptian Room – serves up veterans of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Bumbershoot, Helium Comedy Club, Portland’s Got Talent, and more this Thursday, February 17 starting at 9 p.m. Between emerging stand-up, sketch comedy and music, the options for sating the blues on a rainy Thursday seem to be in good order, dontcha think? But who’s gonna be there? ROLL CALL!

Stand-up will be handled by Virginia Jones (Women in Comedy Festival, Bridgetown, Bumbershoot, Helium Comedy Club), Anthony Lopez (Portland Amateur Comedy Competition), and Iris Gorman (Brody Theater). Enjoy sketch comedy by Tactics Ogre [Jimmy Newstetter (Bridgetown) & Christian Ricketts (Bridgetown)]; and music by the always great Annie Vergnetti (Portland’s Got Talent).

Laughterglow will set you back just five American dollars, and is for those 21 and over.

Pete Ellison can stop lording it over me!

Finally.

Portland on Portlandia

Since Portlandia aired, comedy in Portland has been dealt a blow- we can no longer make fun of precious, childhood-fetishizing, fixie-riding hipsters, our most visible attribute and most reviled population segment, because it’s been DONE, darling. 

In desperation, I have been casting about for new jokes about our beloved city- to this end, here is a list of things that have NEVER been said about Portland:

Self-starter, type-A personality workers keep stores open all hours of the day and night- you never stop by an independent store at 3PM on a Tuesday to find them closed for no adequately explained reason.

One disadvantage of Portland living:  you can’t find a coffeeshop in this town to save your life.

Everywhere you go, in every shop and residence, you can hear Dolly Parton singing “Jolene.”

Local waiststaff are frequently taken to task for being unnaturally clean and polite.

All of Portland has a crush on Zia McCabe of the Dandy Warhols, even buildings and those brass fountain otters downtown.

Portland is George W. Bush’s favorite weekend getaway city.  Find him walking down to Saturday Market from the Governor hotel, which he thinks he can stay at for free, because he was a Governor.

Portland drivers are passive to the extreme, and are often overtaken by wild rabbits on the highway.

Like pumping your own gas, it’s illegal to make your own breakfast on Saturday or Sunday, leading to long, hungry lines in front of every local restaurant on the weekends.

Write me with more things that have never been said about Portland, ever!

Another Goal Achieved

Like many sociopaths, I have a Google Alert tied to my name, and so I get little emails when my name comes up on the internet.  Now, when your name is Virginia Jones, what you do mostly is: die.  That’s mildly creepy, but most of my peers are 95 years old, leaving behind kids, pets, and heartbroken church groups.  So, when there’s a post that’s really about me, I get pretty excited, especially when what I get is a nightlife calendar alerting people in the Sequim and Kitsap areas that I will be performing soon: NIGHTLIFE CALENDAR

I’ve made it!  Don’t question me!

Ringing In 2011 With The Best of 2010!


I will be returning to host this year’s Curious Comedy Best-Of New Year’s Eve!

Catch up with the best of all the comedy of the year, with improv, stand-up, dance, and sketch comedy to keep you laughing in the new year

full bar, free hors d’oeuvres and treats throughout the night, followed by a late-night dance party!

This show will sell out, so buy your tickets now- only $40 for an evening’s madness!

Tickets Here!

My Open Mic!

My beloved open mike is happening again at Curious Comedy Theatre on Sunday, December 12th.  We’ve been having fun on 2nd and 4th Sundays for over a year now, and I’d like to see you there.  Sign-up is at 8:30 and the show starts at 9!  Full bar and snacks available!

Dogs Shouldn’t Smoke

I found this gif of a smoking bulldog and I thought it was important enough to put here.