Category: comedy

PASHA PRODUCTIONS PHOTOGRAPHY

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Any comics looking for HEADSHOTS: A very talented local photographer is Pasha Gross, and she shoots bands, strippers, and roller derby gals in town, and is in general a little fun and has a little edge to her.  I just did my shoot yesterday and had a lot of fun, and feel confident that I’ll get a great picture out of it.

Here is her website to check out her existing work: www.pashaproductions.com, you can make an appointment through that site, or you can call her at 503-236-5585.

Sock It To Me!

This Spring, come time-travel to a mutant 60’s variety show, SOCK IT TO ME, where sketch, stand-up, dance, and aerial artistry collide!

Featuring local comedy favorites Virginia Jones and Gabe Dinger! Famous Mysterious Actor troupe members Josh Fisher and Wally Fessler! Curious Comedy founders Bob Ladewig and Stacey Hallal! Comic actors Scott Rogers and Katie Behrens! With dance and aerials from Daniela Steiner, Kyoko Uchida, Stephanie Seaman and Stephanie Cordell!

America’s Got Talent! Apparently!

I was offered a private audition for America’s Got Talent in Portland, and although I don’t do anything with dogs, farts, or fire, I thought I might as well. The Friday before the show, there was a rumor that a booker would turn up at the Bagdad to check out talent, and local comics were fighting like crabs in a pot for spots in the showcase, and in a Waiting for Guffman moment, the booker showed up at Harvey’s instead and offered me a private audition time, which I already had.

The Morning

It was cool sweeping past the THOUSANDS of f*ckers on the outside. One of the PA’s was the talent scout who had talked to me at Harvey’s, and it was kind of fun knowing someone “inside.” My photo was in a notebook of photos and resumees. That was my favorite bit.

It was good practice to do a 90 second set for four people in a brightly lit room.

They giggled and said they enjoyed it. They didn’t stop me after my 90 seconds, so I did a closing bit. I don’t think I stand a chance with the barrage of hula-hoop competition teams and Chihuahuas on exercise balls. They don’t need a dark, sarcastic girl comic, I don’t think. And frankly, my family-friendly material peters out after 90 seconds.

The Afternoon

A friend of a friend came up from SF to do the cattle call and was there from 8:30 AM to 7PM, and I got to visit the cattle call holding pen. I saw the wisdom behind not doing those calls, they just look like a bunch of crazy people. I saw a tiny Michael Jackson impersonator, a fat Elvis (really? You think they need a jumpsuited Elvis?), many many Sparkle Motion child dance troupes and cheerleading teams, fifty nurses in scrubs with a dance routine, and singers in eveningwear. I had NO IDEA that there were so many people in the world, or that they were so talented. They had come from Salt Lake City, from Potter’s Dick, Wyoming, and from Pig-Snout, Arkansas. Being in the room was like being in a tiny town where everyone was crazy.

In the prebooked section, I met a guy who has perfected conch shell playing, and a very cute tap-dance trio (The Hot Shot Tap Dancers), and a popper from Seattle, and a harmonica player (they were all in my green room). I did not meet or see any other comedians. Since I was not carrying a guitar or an animal, I was widely assumed to be a singer.

All in all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning.

Diminishing Returns of Compliments


Rule of Comedy: If you hang out long enough at the club, you’ll see people’s excitement levels drop precipitously. The people who really liked you will come talk to you about it immediately, and then the people who kind of liked it will say something, and at closing time people who didn’t really care for it will feel compelled to mention that they saw you or that they heard you were good.

I also got my favorites handed out in Lewiston, ID at MJ Barleyhoppers (yes, *that* MJ Barleyhoppers) : “I don’t know what their problem was, I thought you were hilarious”, and “Don’t worry, they’re too stupid to know how funny you were!”

This Is: Driving Excitement!

I saw this bumpersticker today: It reads “Don’t let the car fool you. My treasure is in heaven!”

So, what have we got here?

1. Pride: Look at my nice car!
2. Avarice: I need money for nice things!
3. That most Christian of virtues: self-righteousness!
4. I’m going to Heaven, asshole!
5. My nice car doesn’t even MATTER!
6. Maybe you can get this car after the Rapture, assuming it didn’t get totalled while I was sucked into Heaven while driving Trevor to soccer camp!

Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work on my new Atheism decal, which is in the shape of a happy fish in bed on Sunday morning with a paper and a coffee.

Amazing Romantic Rivalry at Seattle’s LAFFHOLE!

SEATTLE!  Look out.  For Christ’s sake.  I’m gonna be up there.  Really soon.  There’s very little you can do to avoid it, except, I guess, not show up at Chop Suey on Madison at 9.  But what fun would that be?  I’m traveling with the always-odd Christian Ricketts.

Behind the Story

At the risk of being an asshole, I want to tell you a story about this show.

With four years of comedy under my belt, I was delighted to be invited to come up to Seattle for a midweek showcase. I considered it a real high point in my career as a mostly unpaid comedian. I was also offered that I could bring another Portland comic for a set. Magnanimously, I reached out to Christian Ricketts, who was funny and who I liked, along with everyone else I knew. At the time, liking Christian was just a hobby, like how girls put on drag queen makeup for TikTok today.

PROK posted about the show on Facebook, and a woman in Seattle said something to the effect that she’d like to get a closer look at Ricketts.

It Lives

This activated his ex-girlfriend, who lived in San Francisco. where she had publicly berated me onstage to a crowd that DID not GIVE a SHIT. She got in a car and drove to Portland and said she wanted to come along. It reminded me of the time NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak put on a diaper and drove cross country to attack her rival. Christian called me and casually asked, hey, can she ride with us?

I said no, I didn’t care for her, and I didn’t want to go from being on a buddy roadtrip to chauferring a couple. She was mean to me. He could drive them, or he could just not go, and either one was fine with me. Someone else could do his set.

I don’t know what conversation transpired, but he called and announced dramatically that he was coming alone.

Fine.

We had a fun drive, and then one of the hosts, Kevin Hyder, greeted me and I introduced him to Christian. “And I understand”, Kevin said, “you brought another comic?”

No, I said, confused.

“Yeah, she called and said she was on the bill.” Amazing. Bitch had booked herself.

Unsatisfactory Postscript

I don’t know if Christian’s Seattle admirer came or not, she didn’t appear to come introduce herself. Christian and I had good sets and had fun, and then we drove back and I dropped him off at 2AM, then went to work in the morning.

The ex girlfriend moved to LA but hasn’t done comedy in years, so all of this energy being aggravated with her is useless. I try to have empathy for her, but she’s only been awful to me, so it’s hard.

Backhanded Compliments!

Politeness is important. Here are my favorite polite comments to offer, especially to stand-up comedians.

“You looked like you had a lot of fun up there!”

“Wow, you’re really committed to that material!”

“You’ve got…a lot of energy.”

“I don’t care how many times I hear ’em, I love those jokes!”

“You got more laughs than it sounded like.”

“That’s right, screw ’em! You keep doing what YOU think is funny.”

“You’re so brave to get up and do that!”

“You…and I mean this…you do more with less than anyone in this scene!”

“I sure admire your persistence! Keep it up!