Category: fashion

It’s A Hullabaloo!

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, photographed by Rick Rickman

On Thursday, I will be doing a show in Seattle with adorable SF comedy finalist Solomon Georgio, funny ukelelist Barbara Holm, lovable weirdo Derek Sheen and gracious host Rick Taylor at the Holiday Hullabaloo, a benefit for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.  It’ll be a gay old time at the Jewelbox!  Tickets can be purchased here!

Postscript:  Oh, what a gay old time was had!    Money was raised, drinks were drunk, and I got to perform with drag artists and comics, and in general it was the best time ever. Sexy Jesus and Sexy Santa enjoy a duet- Kenny and James.

This amazing mural appeared in the green room.

Me and my favorite Pete had a great time.

Battling Queen Dorises!

The time has come to talk of many things, but mostly about what we’re being for Halloween.

I have, in my possession, an awesome wig made by 2guysfromvegas, and I’m watching and rewatching the amazing film Forbidden Zone. Her name is Queen Doris, and she’s more drag queen than woman, or else she’s more woman than this universe can handle.

Of course, the thing that I love about the internet is the opportunity to meet up with like minds-I said something on Youtube about planning to dress as Doris, and I met the lovely Asunder33, who shared this photo with me:

Now, she is going for the colorized and remastered Doris, which is awesome, and in later shots it’s evident that her eye makeup glows in black light, which is also superb.  I went for the black-and-white Doris, because that’s what we had on our many-times-watched VHS copy of the film.

Postscript: This costume took on a bittersweet quality when we lost Susan Tyrrell in 2012, who had become my Facebook friend when the lovely Meggie Nicole sent her my Halloween photo. 

Hack the TEMPTU

OK, this post is pretty specific.

I have been working on how to refill the TEMPTU pods with more dramatic makeup and wanted to share my results. This post probably won’t be interesting if you don’t use airbrush makeup and aren’t a goth with time on their hands. I will, however, show you how to airbrush a spider on your face. Also, please don’t look into the infinity of the mirrored hallways. You may travel backwards or forwards in time, but I really have no way of knowing which.

Update:  As per commenter Jon, hooking up the pro SP-35 to the pod system is easy- The hose that comes with the pod system has a large flange at the end that plugs into the wand. Just cut off that flange and press the hose right onto the barbed connector that comes with the SP-35. Works great.  Thanks to Jon!

Updated Updates: I ordered the new SE-50 lightweight gravity-fed gun for $75, and it has options for attaching to either the Temptu compressor or the Pro- Free yourself from the Pod and let go!

Updated Updates Updates: Now that Temptu is no longer at Sephora, if you buy the Pod system on Ebay and cut off the hose, you can use any airbrush gun and have a pretty cheap makeup airbrush system! 

Take a bit of time to experiment, so far no liquid makeup has worked as well as the Temptu makeup, but I’m sure you’ll find some!  The best consistency for base, highlighter, and color is  the consistency of half and half or whole milk- a little thicker than milk and not as thick as cream…

  I have owned two of the Temptu-sponsored airbrushes and can advise that  SE 50 is smaller and more lightweight, the smaller size means it’s a little more fussy/needs to be really DETAIL CLEANED over the big old SP35, which is better for body art and large areas-

Also, my new favorite thing to do with my airbrush is to paint my eyebrows on- find a nice brown color two shades darker than your hair and spray paint them on!  It looks so graphic!

Nobody Hates Themselves Like Asian Women!

Stand and Be Judged!

I was recently in Asia, and it seems that there is no segment of the world population that is more adorable and more self-hating than Japanese girls.  Everyone knows about double eyelid glue and tape, but  I became very attached to a product that looked like a potato peeler that was supposed to be rolled on either side of one’s nose to create a more Western nose.  This is, of course, impossible.  The nose is not made of silly putty and can’t be molded from the outside.  Most importantly, they all want to weigh under 100 pounds, regardless of height or build.

I bought a magazine in Narita airport so that I could pretend I had been to Japan, and found this article with  a hundred pictures of girls with the reasons all of their bodies suck.  One girl is thin, but her chest is *too* thin!  One girl accidentally formed a bicep muscle!  One girl’s body flaw is that her tits are too big.  HER TITS.  ARE TOO.  BIG.  Additionally, bitchy little insets from failed pop stars talk smack about these cartoon girls.
This is why anorexia is still Japan’s most popular hobby!    A popular surgery involves cutting a ligament so that one’s calf muscles atrophy and shrink away, leaving a stick-thin leg.  Pretty!  This makes me feel slightly better about the state that we’re in.  At least I’m allowed to work out and have muscles, instead of just starving myself puny.  I’m also glad to be back in the states because I don’t usually have this conversation at home:

Cassie: I saw your photo on Facebook!

Me: Oh, really?

Cassie: Yes, you looked very thin (indicating on face and neck where I used to be thin).  Were you thinner when you were younger?

Me: No, actually I came out this size.  I looked down and saw my mother’s bloody feet.  I exploded her.  Please pass the fried rice.

Do You Really, Realistically, Think You Can Avoid: Harem Pants?

From May 2010

That is to say, do you think there’s any way you can get around wearing Harem pants, which were called Dhoti pants last time they came around, and later, pejoratively, Hammer pants?  Do you think you’re strong enough?

Will.I.Am is wearing them in Usher’s video about a woman whose boobies are so hot he has to say “Oh, My GOSH” repeatedly.

Gaultier and Levi’s have gotten together to make some.

Every man, woman, and child in Hong Kong is wearing them as if there is no other kind of pant available.

Hong Kong is so trend-conscious that you hit the street and see the same Comme De Garcons t-shirt twenty times and think, did I miss a memo?

2014 Postscript: According to the kids auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance, you can’t avoid Harem pants.  Nobody can. They call them Joggers though, which is dumb because no way should you jog in them.

Grimly Fiendish

In case you are sitting on lots of holiday cash and don’t know what to do, I wanted to point out that Dave Vanian of seminal (huh huh) punk band The Damned has co-founded a high-end goffic makeup line called Illamasqua. Who better to do it than Dave? He’s been blending clown white and smudging black liner since Billy Joe Armstrong’s parents argued over whether the condom would hold. Anyway, Dave’s makeup line is is the culmination of my dreams in many ways.
Awesome things about Dave:

1. He is married to Patricia Morrison, formerly the bassist of Sisters of Mercy, and together they are the gothest couple ever. Everyone else should give up.

2. He once threatened to beat the tar out of Bauhaus’ Peter Murphy, for copying his “Vampire schtick”, not realizing that there was enough of it to go around for the UK, Germany, and the States for many years to come.

3. I have been in love with him, body and soul, since I was fifteen years old. All five foot six of him.

4. Screw you, Patricia Morrison!