The fat man came onstage in a poncho. He took it off and spoke to us about free love.
The fat man was wearing a tie-dyed top, which he raised and began to soulfully fuck his own belly button with his finger.
The fat man took the top off to reveal a silver unitard, which he grabbed his crotch through. He left the stage to clamber up a tree.
The fat man climbed into a tree and hung upside down in a silver unitard.
The fat man asked for all the lights to be turned off, and asked for flashlights. He put one in his crotch.
The fat man got down to his underpants and sang to us. He stood onstage with the unitard pulled down to his knees and danced under the lights, his sweaty torso gleaming in the lights.
The fat man draped himself in a beige dress, which he pulls up to his tits.
The fat man produced an 8 foot ladder.
The fat man sat onstage and decorated himself in 3/8” black electrical tape.
The fat man started to climb the ladder. A roadie tried to steady the ladder while the fat man got on the top rung and was shooed away. He stood on top of the ladder, singing majestically, while I worried that he would fall off.
The fat man tried to jump off the ladder and land on his feet, but had to tuck and roll. He lays, grandiose and Dionysian, upon the stage and didn’t stop singing.
The fat man produces a tiny striped sweater. He starts trying to put the sweater on. The armpit rips out but he gets into it.
The fat man produced a box of toilet paper and threw it to the crowd, so that we could pitch it through the air in arcing parabolas, shedding twisted paper paths. I caught one but I throw it too straight and it doesn’t unravel much. I think this is because I never threw footballs. The empty box that used to hold the toilet paper is also passed around the audience, apropos of nothing, until it hits a girl in the head and we drop it. I am impressed that one forcefully thrown bog roll lands on the top of the giant truss that forms the top of the stage rig. It’s a beautiful moment but I also reflect on the fact that all of the bathrooms will be out of toilet paper by the last show, and we could have used it.
The fat man announced that it was the last song. I was caught admiring the tendrils of toilet paper everywhere and missed the moment when he laid the folded-up ladder on top of the crowd, climbed atop it, and made rowing motions until the people below began transporting him through the crowd. I walked over to where it was happening and was amused by the sea of people taking photographs of the event. We could probably make a 360 degree hologram of it at this point in composite.
It was amazing.
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