Tag: john freeman

Suicidal Tendency: Duck, Duck, Annihilation


Well, it’s not the first time a suicidal duck has made its way around the internet.

Well, maybe it is. It does remind me of one of my friend John Freeman’s dozens of bands, Duck, Duck, Annihilation.

As to complaints that the duck is too well-built to actually electrocute, (this is one product that never considered hiring a customer service staff) please consider either of the two easy backup options, given that you could hang yourself with the cord OR in dire straits, eat the duck, which if you are any kind of celebrity or known entity will result in a six month period where the phrase ‘eat a duck’ will be hipster shorthand for any suicide, which will confuse the heck out of people in food sales.

Eventually, it will end up in Cockney rhyming slang as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, which everything is.

The Dutch Treats are Coming!


Many many years ago, an “afflicted” young man picked up a guitar and threw it on the floor while muttering something about Webster’s Emmanuel Lewis. Thus, the Dutch Treats were born.    The Dutch Treats achieved legendary underground status in their twin hometowns of Denton and Dallas, Texas since first “playing out” in 1990, and later took Brooklyn, NY by storm, filling the storm drains with absurd rockin’ goodness until it flowed out into the streets.  Seventeen years of songs about Chewbacca, Men at Work’s Colin Hay, underage crack whores, dwarves, elves, and wizards later, they are debuting in Portland at the revival of the Hive at Plan B on Sunday, September 2.


And here’s the world-famous video for the Dutch Treats song, Close Your Robe. It’s been banned in fifteen countries, and all of Scandinavia.

Come enjoy the music of the man who taught us that bacon+Dr. Pepper=ROCK.

Postscript: What can be said about the event of the century? If you can’t put your finger on what made it so special, go to Wikipedia and cross-reference “annoyed bike messengers who thought they had booked the room for a party” with “confused, overheated goths” and “drinking adventure!”  Johnny Murder, consummate professional, played a great set for his fans.