Street signs can tell you a lot of things- to stop or slow down, that animals may cross the street, and which turning direction is less likely to get you killed.
However, this is the first time that a road sign has taken the time to let me know that bloodsucking ghouls are real.
Thanks, NW Natural! I’ll keep an eye out!
Postscript: Apparently, The Huffington Post has disproved the existence of vampires. Which is why vampires hate math!
Although I work hard at keeping this page from being of any real use to anyone, I wanted to let you know that Nick Cave tickets are on sale today for a show at the Crystal Ballroom for Monday, September 22nd. Aww! Nick’s spending his birthday with us! Reasons to love Nick Cave:
* He’s so goth, he wore flip-flops on Ron & Fez’s radio show, and was STILL goth.
* He has had amazing rock-n-roll hair for 30 years. Unfortunately, now all his promo shots are cropped at the temples.
* Dig, Lazarus, Dig is a record that makes other middle-aged rockers cower in shame.
* Nick wrote the story and soundtrack for the incredible and bloody cowboy movie, The Proposition.
* He did the soundtrack for another great movie, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and did a cameo as- wait for it- a musician.
* He’s also doing the soundtrack to the film of Cormac McCarthy’s book, The Road.
* Nick wants to be a cowboy, and you can be his cowgirl.
An alert reader sent in an NPR article on Nick! Thank you!
In a fitting St. Patrick’s day occurrence, I rolled onto my first new green “bike box” at SE 7th and Hawthorne today.
It’s a cheery, acid astroturf color, and it’s designed to remind cars not to flatten me on my bike. I also reached 8,000 miles on my odometer today, almost two years to the day of my 2,000th mile!
Tomorrow, the day after St. Patrick’s day, is always an exciting day for a bike commuter, and if the weather’s clear, I can report on the number of visible vomits on my regular route.
Portland can’t wait for the first-ever Bridgetown Comedy Festival, from March 6-8! There is a HUGE roster of West Coast comedians, headlined by the star of the Oscar-winning food-cooking rat movie, PATTON OSWALT- and I believe that there’s some time in there for yours truly.
My Sets Are:
Thursday, March 6th: Mount Tabor Legacy Lounge, 8:00 PM
Friday, March 7th: Mount Tabor “Big Room”, 7:00 PM
Saturday, March 8th: Bar of the Gods, 8:00 PM.
POSTSCRIPT: It was fantastic. I got to see, meet, and point at so many funny, funny people. I was particularly knocked out by Kyle Kinane and Tig Notaro, and James Adomian, Jason Nash, and the lithe David Cope. Thanks to all who attended.
The hilarious Mr. Oswalt cuddles a puppy onstage. Don’t tell Grumpus.
James Adomian’s amazing George W. Bush was the surprise hit of the festival.
The only real record of me in the festival was a throwaway line about wrist-slitting, recorded in the Mercury blog.
I got to see one of my favorite people at the Crystal Ballroom last night. He made a Depeche Mode joke, got one of his fans onstage to do part of a song, and wore every jeweled brooch available in the Pacific Northwest. He claims to love Portland as much as we love him. Answers to unasked questions:
Q. Who is winning in the Rufus fanbase, gay men or poetry-writing teenaged girls?
A. Do you want that answer based on individual number or combined weight?
Q. Who is slightly more gay than Rufus Wainwright?
A. Rufus Wainwright dressed as Judy Garland.
Q. What will a line of people waiting to get into the Crystal Ballroom steadfastly refuse to chant?
A. “The Roof! The Roof! The Rufus on Fire!”
Anyway, it was wonderful and very theatrical. Another musician’s son opened, his name was Lemon or Lenin or something. He did one song that sounded like the Muppet Show hit, The Rainbow Connection. What’s he trying to do, out-gay Rufus? I don’t think so, brother.
Oh! Wikipedia claims that Rufus is a descendant of Dutch colonist Peter Stuyvestant, and according to my family, so am I. O cousin Rufus!
Postscript: A handsome gentleman let me know that after the show let out at one ayem, Rufus serenaded the late-night crowd at Silverado with karaoke until closing time. I wish I had the energy of young people!
DJ’s Retrograde and Retrovirus have received their DJ slots for Convergence 13. There are a lot of good things about playing the opening slots on weeknights. You get to deal with any technical difficulties with the setup yourself. You don’t have to stay up too late. You don’t have to worry about overcrowding on the dance floor. You can be sure that no-one else has played the “I’m Dead, I’m Dead” song. On the other hand, getting in a car with a face fulla clown white in the cruel, truthful sunlight is always a time for soul-searching and remorse.
I hope any spooky early birds will come visit us at the Fez, opening and closing the convention! We’ll be serving up a delicious selection of little-heard deathrock, post-punk, and new-wave songs to nostalgically transport listeners to a time before they were born.
Postscript: It was a ton of fun, by which I mean it was a most dark and magickal time nestling in the bosom of my velvet-clad mistress, and I’ll have the playlist up later.
The spooky, velvet-caped Powers That Be have blacklit New Rotic DJ’s Retrograde and Retrovirus for a DJ slot at the Convergence 13, in sinister Portland, over the weekend of May 25-27. We will be dusting off the black vinyl, and the records too. Keep your glassy, web-worn orbs here for details on when you can catch a set of time-tested D-rock and forgotten goffic dance hits. We’d love to see you there. Or, your presence might bring a wry smile to play on these world-weary lips. Or something.
